Updated: Jul 23
I haven't written a blog post for a while (since March actually) and a lot has happened since then, so if you're reading this, sit back, cosy up next to your favourite beverage, and join me in this following metaphor. Or analogy. Or story. Your choice of words here.
Today, I want to talk to you about fear; stress; and cars.
Fear is like trying to drive a car while pressing your foot on the break the whole time.
Fear is the brake pedal in the car.
Stress is like trying to drive a car while pressing your foot on the break and the accelerator pedal at the same time.
Stress is the simultaneous push of the gas and the break pedal.
Stress gets you overly pumped and ready to take action, and at the same time disables you from doing so because you are often:
a) too overwhelmed
b) afraid of what’s going to happen or
c) your reactions are frozen
What you ideally want to be doing while driving your car is being in control, while at the same time being able to go over and around any obstacles, knowing that you can react in a calm and collected way that is appropriate to each situation.
It doesn’t mean that you won't be on high alert if you’re faced with an accident on the road, or a deer jumps out of nowhere, or if the traffic lights are not functioning properly. But it means that you have understood the rules of the game, the driving game, and you have cultivated a particular set of skills that's essential in order for you to be a good driver, on and off the road.
And the first thing that needs to happen is for you to pay attention, when you drive so you can be fully aware of what is going on.
The same goes for stress.
You need to be aware that you are stressed.
A hard truth is that a lot of my clients (and a lot of us in general) are not necessarily aware that we are stressed. We are either distracted or we have trained ourselves to pay little to no attention to the signs of stress until it’s usually too late.
And that is where we lose the game. Because, like the driver who’s not aware of what’s happening on the road he/she won’t be able to go very far without having an accident, when you’re stressed and you don’t know what’s been going on, sooner or later you will be faced with certain consequences.
And those consequences all extremely unpleasant, some long-term, and completely unnecessary.
A piece of gold: the truth is a lot of them can be avoided if only we don’t brush stress under the carpet.
*So I’m stressed! Now what??* (you say)
Here's my honest suggestion (I say), and a faill-proof "go-to manual" to get you started. Or at least, to get you to start asking yourself the right questions.
1. The first thing is that you acknowledge that you are stressed, and then decide that you want to do something about it.
2. Then surely the next question is: what can I do about it?
Well there’s a lot of things that you can do about it depending on your particular situation. Some options are self-guided while other options involve being supported by an expert. My personal recommendation is to explore what works for you. However, keep in mind that being guided by an expert will give you much better results (usually much faster & more reliable because you are not exploring things on your own, but you have someone there with you that knows the territory & what comes with it). Working with an expert will get you to the root of the WHY & the HOW that is true to you when it comes to stress! That’s where lasting results happen.
3. Third question is: what kind of expert?
These days there are a lot of experts around, but what I’m primarily talking about is working with a therapist and/or a stress expert. I am an advocate of combining different things to get the best result, so I don’t exclude any other modalities. Besides, I have experience of different professionals helping me and my clients too. However, in order to get into the depths of how stress has been built into your personal story and what other factors may be weaved into that, you can only really access that through therapy and guidance from an expert on stress. You need someone that knows stress really well.
Like myself - I happen to know stress really well!!
I know stress from the point of an integrative psychotherapist. This means that I’ve been trained in all models of therapy so I can use the techniques that are most suited to each of my clients.
I also know stress very well from the point of pilates, movement & breathwork. I have been helping people for many years feel freer in their bodies. I’ve been educating them a lot about how stress and its somatization can lead to a host of other problems if they don’t address it. And I have been using my movement knowledge to alleviate the effects of stress they feel on a physical level.
My signature method, The Integrative Approach, is a 360 degree deep look into stress & how it affects you. It's all my knowledge, both theoretical & empirical, distilled in one hybrid system that targets stress from all angles. It's a one of a kind stress reliever that can be moulded around your personal requirements and lifestyle - and you can take it anywhere with you!
In other words (to go back to my car analogy for this post): it's expertly designed to help and support those of you that want to get properly back behind the driving seat & be the driver of your car, instead of letting the road drive you!
That’s why I am stress expert.
Stress is an issue that affects our whole existence: mind, body & spirit. So, I passionately believe it should be addressed holistically. And to top that off, I feel strongly that people need to be seen as a whole, and not segmented.
Ready to get behind the driving seat of your life?