I'm going to tell you something that's contrary to popular belief: don’t be afraid of crossroads.
Beware of not choosing at all. But even lack of choice is a choice. Let me say this again: it’s a choice not to choose.
Indecisiveness, or “sitting on the fence” (by the way, what are you currently sitting on the fence about?) reflects - is - a choice by itself. Because when you can’t bring yourself to make a choice, then you have already chosen.. Jorge Bucay and I agree on this 100%. Despite that you may try to convince yourself that “there was nothing else you could have done”. There was. There always is. You just chose not to choose it, or chose to embody the role of the victim, of the helpless creature in the face of fate, and let the circumstances make the decision for you.
So you can tell yourself that there was nothing you could do or it was out of your control. Was it though? Was it really? Did you win? Or did fear? What were you really afraid of? Perhaps, what you would lose? That it would fail?
Or...
Or perhaps you were afraid that it would work.
It’s difficult to admit that to yourself, so if you just did, well done..! Not a lot of people show that kind of courage. Some decisions require that. Courage. They really do. And it’s not universal what takes courage and what doesn’t. Sometimes it takes courage to step in. And other times it takes (much more) courage to step down..
Been there? I know I have.
And then there's these other times when it takes courage to admit to yourself that you don’t have the courage. That you’re not brave (right now). Now, that’s a whole other level of courage, the spicy kind. The super uncomfortable kind. “Super” because, in my opinion, any kind of courage is uncomfortable. It has to be because, by default, it takes us out of our comfort zone. Ahh the comfort zone. Such a vibe. Or is it?
As much as we - me too - may seek it, it can be something not unlike quicksand.
Before we know it, we turn into “comfort zombies”. Yes, yes we do. I bet you’ve been a comfort zombie in the past, or maybe you are one now. Either way, my intention is not to shame you/me/anyone, but to shed light where there may be shadows.
Comfort & your comfort zone represent safety. Safety is paramount for our physical, psychological and spiritual wellbeing. But safety, not unlike pretty much every other value, can have two sides to it. Taken to the extreme, it can apprehend our growth. It can keep us stuck in the same place just because it’s familiar therefore there are no surprises; it’s safe . Have you heard of the phrase "better with the devil you know than the devil you don’t"? Well there you go!
Also, there are some occasions we may so desperately need to feel safe that we rush - & trap - ourselves in situations or relationships that are actually dangerous. They are masked as safe, or they seem to tick some of the safety checklist boxes.
What do we do then? We may even not be aware we are in a trap to begin with!
So today I’m calling it out by shedding some light on all this very complicated human existence stuff. Why?
Because once we start to become aware of what’s really happening we’ll be in a much more empowered position to take back healthy control and make choices that reflect our desires. Our wildest dreams. Our juiciest aspirations. Not our fears. Not our insecurities. Not our past traumas.
We need the darkness to appreciate the light. And it is indeed darkest just before the dawn- literally & figuratively.
But while it is essential & utterly compassionate to hug our darkest corners, it is so important to realise we can turn the spotlight to illuminate the biggest shadows and watch them dissolve ♥️
How do I know that for sure?
I’ve been there and I’ve come out of the other side. And most importantly, I can help you not be there any more.
Reach out to me and let’s be more courageous together 💋
